Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
