My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
