South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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