Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
