so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
