I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
