I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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