She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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