you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
