Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
