I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
