u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
3pm strippers are depressing
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
