you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
