How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
