I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My life is pants optional.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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