she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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