He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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