am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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