I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize