what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
