I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize