college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
