ugly people sure do ruin things
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
