i think my mom watched the whole time
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
