I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize