oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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