oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
