Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
