We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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