I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
