I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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