Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
