The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
