found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
