I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
no you cant smoke seaweed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
