um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
