YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
