im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
