is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
