Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
