Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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