But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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