I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
