No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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