i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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