My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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