summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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