Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
