Where is the hickey?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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