Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
