Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
operation harelip BJ is a go
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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