I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
