a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
