i don't like sucking hair
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When are your genitals available?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize