I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
