mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
