i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize