If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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