We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
