So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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