He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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